Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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