so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
