the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
