You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
