It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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