No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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