Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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