yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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