This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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