Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize