As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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