i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
