Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
