Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
