Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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