i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
