woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
