So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Randomize
