She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
