Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
