Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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