When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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