How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
