Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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