genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
