yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize