Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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