i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
