Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
