if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i've created a new STD.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
