I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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