Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
