Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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