I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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