How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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