a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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