so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
