i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
one two three fourrrrnication!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
