Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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