Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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