I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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