The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize