I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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