I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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