I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I party with great urgency now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize