Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
