Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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