i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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