I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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