Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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