Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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