i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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