let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
