I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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