Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
