Pants 0. Shit 1.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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