it hurts more in the daytime
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
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Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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