If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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