3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
