that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
