haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
