I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
